The club meeting begins at six. Your work shift begins at five. Someone suggests staying after class, but your bus leaves in twelve minutes. Advice to “just get involved” can sound simple until you compare it with the life you actually have.
College belonging is often pictured as a residence hall, a late-night conversation, and a group that seems to appear during orientation. Many students are commuting, raising children, returning to school, or attending through a screen. Their need for connection is just as real.
You are not the only person outside the picture
The Healthy Minds Network’s national report (2025) includes loneliness and help-seeking among the concerns examined in participating college populations. Survey findings do not describe every student, but they challenge the idea that everyone else is effortlessly connected.
Loneliness also has different meanings. You may want one close friend, practical study companionship, people who share your language or identity, or someone who understands being the first in your family to navigate college. Naming the need helps you choose a useful first step.
Make connection fit the week you have
- Use an existing overlap. Look for ten minutes before a class, a lunch break on campus, or a short online study check-in. Try: “I am reviewing chapter three Wednesday at noon. Would you like to compare questions for twenty minutes?” A specific invitation is easier to answer.
- Return to one place. Choose a recurring setting you can realistically attend: a department event, virtual peer group, commuter lounge, campus job, or library study session. Familiar faces give conversations a chance to develop. One sustainable commitment can be more useful than five meetings you cannot reach.
- Tell the office what access requires. Ask student affairs or a program advisor: “What connection opportunities work for evening, online, commuter, or student-parent schedules?” If the answer is none, ask whether a peer contact or virtual option exists. Your schedule is relevant information, not an excuse.
- Share a little, then observe. You might say, “I am new here and still figuring things out.” Notice whether the person listens, respects differences, and follows through. You control how much to disclose. Belonging should not require tolerating humiliation or hiding important parts of yourself.
What if the invitation goes nowhere?
An unavailable classmate is not a complete evaluation of your social future. Try a different time, person, or setting. You can keep an invitation small enough that one disappointing response does not consume the week. Relationships need opportunity and reciprocity; you cannot create both sides alone.
If loneliness is accompanied by persistent distress or difficulty functioning, consider campus counseling or a qualified health professional. Ask about appointment availability, cost, confidentiality, and alternatives if the service cannot meet your needs. Support does not have to wait until you feel certain the situation is “serious enough.”
Reflect: What kind of connection do I need most? Where does my existing routine overlap with someone else’s? What would a welcoming campus do differently for students with my responsibilities?
Your next step: Make one twenty-minute invitation this week. Tellumind’s personal-growth and relationship-education resources can help you practice communication and connection while respecting your own pace. Educational services do not replace mental health treatment.
Sources and further reading
Healthy Minds Network. (2025). 2024–2025 Healthy Minds Study national data report.
Illustrative photograph: Vitaly Gariev / Unsplash.
